Why Not
Why not?
What can you say? What magic combination of words can you say? Cheer up? Go out in the sun? Lift some weights? Have a good laugh? Tell some authorities?
Why do you say it? So you get to be the hero? Because you actually do not understand my situation? So you can validate your own existence? Because you don't want to be responsible? Because it's the response you memorized? Because it's what you think you should say?
It's still been all about you. What about what I think? And feel?
Do I have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? If I truly have the right to live, why not the right to die?
I mean what is there in the world? Carnival rides? A Disney movie A rat race for a large piece of cheese? To be celebrated as the biggest rat by millions of rats? To sip on some alcohol juice mixtures on some beach?
To work like a madman to buy a very shiny car I wouldn't really be able to afford to drive or maintain To have a really successful business that will be celebrated by people who do not know better but totally forgotten in after...
I mean what the fuck. I haven't even been a good person. I've done horrible things. What kind of world is this? It does not seem of substance. And I do not know if I deserve to even live in an empty world.
The person with a heart and soul I knew, the only one who knew me — he has died. And in the end — he too became infected by the world. So what if the very person whom I heralded as the beacon of light wasn't. And if not him, who?
Perhaps what if I wasn't seeing it correctly. For me myself, there is my own persona/mask, ego, and shadow. It feels like the shadow is much more me. I saw the shadow as the being.